Monday, February 18, 2008

Annoyance and Pester (spot the thinly disguised building society) keeping customers happy



7:15 in the evening, and my mobile rings, number withheld, a private number, must be a problem.....

Good evening, this is Geoff from Annoyance and Pester, is this Mr Stuffy ?
Possibly... (6 months in the Foreign Legion teaches one the dangers of saying yes without understanding the consequences)
I need to just run through some security questions
Why ?
To ensure that I'm talking to Mr Stuffy
But you just rang me, on my mobile, and now you want me to prove that I'm me ?
Yes, if I may...
I don't want to tell you how to do your job Geoff, but isn't that the wrong way round, surely I've no way of knowing who you are, you could be a psychotic-killer-maniac-stalker, or a world class cyber-criminal?
I'm sorry?
What's your mother's maiden name, Geoff ?
I'm sorry...?
Don't be sorry Geoff, If you are indeed Geoff, what's your favourite chocolate bar ?
Pardon ?
Geoff, did I ask you to call me ?
Err..... No
Is this an unsolicited call to an existing, valued and now, quite grumpy, customer of your esteemed financial services business?
Err ..... Yes
Are you selling something ?
I.................... err
Are you ? ...... Geoff ?
yes
Do I sound likely to buy whatever it is ?
err ....... No ?
Goodnight, Geoff