Movie Review - Black swan, a bit of a turkey, and not a nice turkey, a very unpleasant month old rotting turkey...
There are some things I don't understand (but keep trying to) and some things I don't understand and am pretty sure that I never shall, I don't understand people who drive in the middle lane of a motorway with no regard for other traffic, I don't understand why some people will hate other people simply because they have a different imaginary friend and I've never understood ballet.
It may have been a little naive of me to expect that I'd come away from this movie with a better understanding of the challenges and triumphs of the corps but my naivety is one of the things that keeps me so fresh-faced and cheerful. So, what have we learnt from Black Swan? There appears to be no-one in or around this story who has a single redeeming characteristic, it paintsa bleak and tragic picture of narcissism, pettiness, insecurity, and obsession.
Mrs S loves the whole dancing thing and even she joined me in bewailing the loss of a couple of hours of our lives which could have been spent infinitely more pleasurably sitting in a tub of rotting fish and occasionally jabbing each other with spiny sea urchins.
It's unclear what sort of film this aspires to be, it's not a psychological thriller, there's little psychology and it's not thrilling, it tends to shuffle toward generating shock but by the time the horror element drifts in your humble reviewer was already bored witless and wishing he'd not caved in and insisted instead on seeing the green hornet.
A dear chum face-booked that she was aghast at the amount of sex involved, to be honest she should get out more, this was as sexy as watching a very ugly person cleaning out the drains. Are you getting the idea that I was disappointed? You're spot on, I was very disappointed.
Let me be clear, if you like ballet, there's very little of it in this movie, if you like people you won't like anyone in this movie, if you like movies, go and see something, anything, else.
A haiku, are you kidding ?
Oh, very well... just for you
The point of ballet?
They may be up on points
But it's so pointless
Movie Review - The Kings Speech
As my regular reader will have surmised our choice of movie typically involves a compromise between myself and the slumbering goddess I'm delighted to call my lovely wife. This week the choice was very much her ladyship's call, her fondness for Colin Firth based apparently on his ability to act his way out of a pond, myself, well I don't find Mr Firth thigh-quiveringly attractive but this is a film that's had very good reviews and sometimes it's good to take the advice of other, lesser, film critics.
The story
of the stammering Duke of York being thrust into the role of king just as the wireless becomes the principal method of communication is an interesting one and much has been made of the development of the friendship between the antipodean voice coach played with delicate and subtle skill by Geoffrey Rush and the troubled princeling, a role which seems likely to generate a (well-earned) Oscar for the aforementioned damp Darcy.
Personally I found their relationship, as portrayed, amusing, nicely judged, predictable but engaging, however, for me, the real pleasure of the film was the nice observation of the distance between royalty and the real world, which still seems to me to be a huge gulf despite the British public's dilemma around the diminishing desire to maintain the unique mystique of the monarchy and the increasing inability of anyone in the public eye to maintain any kind of real privacy in the face of information overload, persistent public prying and the bundling of all things royal into the increasingly poorly-named cult of celebrity.
Right, enough ranting, back to the film, good things, a great sense of the history, the look and feel of the period, the manners, the language and the sense of a country on the cusp of dramatic and drastic change. A delight to see Helena Bonham-Carte playing someone who isn't screaming and cackling, a lovely performance delivered with lightness and humour. bad things, well nothing really.
So to sum up, it was a packed cinema, who all appreciated a very fine film, as did her ladyship and as did I.
I'd recommend it to all my lovely readership.
A regal p'p'p'p'poem in the Haiku style
As hesitance ends
to find a cure, and a friend
For competent king
Welcome, my untold legions of dearly beloved loyal readers, to 2011, apologies for the Yuletide hiatus and let's kick off a most excellent new year (power of positive thinking) with a review of an epic movie of an epic journey 'The Way Back'
There are very few absolute rules in selecting my movies experiences, truths seldom stand the test of time and surprises can happen (maybe Will Ferrell will one day be as funny as he thinks he is) however some things just seem to be absolutes: Russell Crowe is a very good actor, Ridley Scott and Peter Weir are very good directors, Angelina is not a great actor but so what? and, critically for our choice of movie last night, Ed Harris is a sure-fire, 100%, dependable class act. I've been a fan since the Abyss and so far never been disappointed.
'The Way Back' is the tale of a mismatched bunch of escapees from a Siberian Gulag and their harrowing trek all the way to India, it's a long walk, a long movie and crucially one of the producers is National Geographic, so if you'd like to see how awesome our planet can look this is a relatively easy way to do so, it's a beautifully shot travelogue with frequent breaks for the human story.
The story, true or not, (there seem to be doubts) is an impressive tale, the characters in the film are very human, the tension is well managed. It's tough to get into it in the early stages, in the grimy horror of the early days in the camp and the ensuing escape it's confusing when everyone is equally beardy and weatherproofed it's hard to track the characters but it does get clearer.
The estimable Mr Harris makes it for me, sagacity, sadness and strength portrayed in an almost imperceptible nod. Colin Farrel is workmanlike as a hardened criminal and Jim Sturgess very good in the lead role as the competent and driven leader of the band of refugees. There's humour, it's not a heavy or preachy film but, it's not a film for everyone, the delightful Mrs Stuffy made an apposite observation, it's very interesting but not really entertaining ... Wise words spoken during one of her less drowsy moments.
A haiku from the tundra ?
Four thousand k walk
If true it's impressive, but
If not, still awesome
