Friday, January 28, 2011


Movie Review - Black swan, a bit of a turkey, and not a nice turkey, a very unpleasant month old rotting turkey...


There are some things I don't understand (but keep trying to) and some things I don't understand and am pretty sure that I never shall, I don't understand people who drive in the middle lane of a motorway with no regard for other traffic, I don't understand why some people will hate other people simply because they have a different imaginary friend and I've never understood ballet.

It may have been a little naive of me to expect that I'd come away from this movie with a better understanding of the challenges and triumphs of the corps but my naivety is one of the things that keeps me so fresh-faced and cheerful. So, what have we learnt from Black Swan? There appears to be no-one in or around this story who has a single redeeming characteristic, it paintsa bleak and tragic picture of narcissism, pettiness, insecurity, and obsession.

Mrs S loves the whole dancing thing and even she joined me in bewailing the loss of a couple of hours of our lives which could have been spent infinitely more pleasurably sitting in a tub of rotting fish and occasionally jabbing each other with spiny sea urchins.

It's unclear what sort of film this aspires to be, it's not a psychological thriller, there's little psychology and it's not thrilling, it tends to shuffle toward generating shock but by the time the horror element drifts in your humble reviewer was already bored witless and wishing he'd not caved in and insisted instead on seeing the green hornet.

A dear chum face-booked that she was aghast at the amount of sex involved, to be honest she should get out more, this was as sexy as watching a very ugly person cleaning out the drains. Are you getting the idea that I was disappointed? You're spot on, I was very disappointed.

Let me be clear, if you like ballet, there's very little of it in this movie, if you like people you won't like anyone in this movie, if you like movies, go and see something, anything, else.

A haiku, are you kidding ?

Oh, very well... just for you

The point of ballet?
They may be up on points
But it's so pointless

posted by Stuffy @ 5:27 pm

2 Comments:

At 3:06 pm, Blogger IzinSing said...

Most excellent haiku, if I may say so, great haiku master. Some very nice analogies also - loved the rotting fish thing. It's a shame though, I really fancied going to see this film. What's your take on Burlesque?

 
At 3:48 pm, Blogger Stuffy said...

Haven't seen Burlesque although Cha pronounced it 'annoying', could mean anything, I guess I should have inquired further ...

Feel free to see the Swan thing opinion appears to be divided, I’ve seen some critics who’ve raved over it and those like myself who’d not give it house room, astonished that it’s up for an Oscar although I have to admit it is a beautifully filmed piece of poo, but, it’s still, IMHO a piece of poo

 

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