Thursday, August 31, 2006

Did you ever wonder why your Car insurance is so exorbitant ?

As you will recall (if you've been paying attention) I was recently unfortunate enough to be impacted in the rear bumper area by a young lady, life moves on but,a couple of things have transpired since then.

It appears that my parking sensor (the beepy beepy beepy beepy BEEP!) device that is fitted to cars to help you lovely ladies do the parking thing (only joking girls) can now only do BEEP.
Am I worried ? No, not especially, I'm a chap so I park using testosterone, experience and spatial awareness. And I'm getting rid of the motor soon. Another thing emerges, it appears that the young lady towbar-botherer was subsequently and sequentially rear ended by the chap behind her, he, being chivalrous, didn't mention it and would have got clean away had yours truly not asked for some details as a possible witness. I'm not identifying the profession but I wouldn't let someone that sneaky near my teeth.

Well dear reader, in an ideal and sane world the insurance company representing the young lady would ring me up and say " It's our fault, we're very sorry and is there any damage to you or yours ?, if so get a quote and we'll send you a cheque".

Can you imagine my delight when that happened ! I was astonished, how eminently sensible I thought. I mentioned the lack of beepness and he said something along the lines of "get that nice Mr Jeep to give you a quote and we'll send you the pennies, job done".

Now it gets silly, you knew it would, because our orthodontical absconder is also at fault so their respective insurance companies have someone to transact with, to blame, to pursue their nasty little punitive processes, to justify their drab little soulless existence.
So I get a call from some 'executive* replacement vehicle company' looking to supply a car to Little Miss 'oblivious-to-red-lights', presumably because they can now stick the bill to the scarpering tooth fairy's insurance company.
I gave them shrift, (of the short variety) and told them to go bother an insurance company, "not my problem" quoth I in my naivety. I've now had three calls from these idiots (a different individual idiot for each call you understand), all preceded by "Just a courtesy call". And now, since I had to go to see Mr "might as well get those scratches done since someone else is paying" nudge nudge)Jeep to get an estimate, I'm being offered a luxury car by some associate firm of the Jeepster as a replacement while mine is in the shop ( I reckon a day at most) "at no cost to you Sir" by another of these jackal businesses with a nose for margin and litigation.
And I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more... Of course there's a cost to me you halfwits, I pay a fortune for car insurance despite a perfect no claims and a pretty spotless driving record simply because of this parasitical attitude to insurance and the illusion that it's all someone elses money. It's actually proving to be a real pain for me to make it clean, simple and low cost to all concerned. And last time I looked I was the victim.

Of course the real joy is that like the well oiled paper-pushing machine that our local gendarmerie is SurreyPlod plc, have sent me a form so I can incriminate myself through admin.

'Tell us what happened, take your drivers licence and insurance to a police station (citizen/woodentop-interaction-venue) between the hours of 13:55 and 14:03 and if there appears to be anything we can prosecute someone for we'll post you some handcuffs and form 3452/6 B itsafaircopguvsowelpme so you can give yourself up.'

I might send them the one they sent me about the alarm system and see how long it takes them to notice.

*Digression - Is it just me or does 'executive' seem to carry overtones of seedy and cheap ?
executive suite = with a free plastic shower cap, Executive briefcase=plastic and cheap chrome, executive search=desperate and depressing jobseeking, executive massage=let's not go there.


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