Blogfromthebarn

You don't know what real sufffering is...


Two things

1. I have a cold
2. I am a man


50% of you understand the suffering I'm experiencing, the callous remainder will probably want to witter on about childbirth or something else irrelevant.

posted by Stuffy @ 5:53 pm 0 comments

Film Reviews - The Queen and The Sentinel


The Queen is not really my sort of film, but, great writing, superb performances from all, got to be an Oscar for the gifted acting lass Mirren. I commend it to you all. Sentinel is like paying £7.50 for cinematic deja vu, every thriller cliche from Charade through the Manchurian candidate, through The Fugitive, through Bourne identity, Clear and Present Danger, Interpreter, and frankly, I don't think Kim Basinger would ever sleep with Michael Douglas (except for a bet).

posted by Stuffy @ 12:19 pm 0 comments

A day at Ascot races yesterday
We were enjoying corporate hospitality (thank you Peter) in the new and immensely impressive stand, a good day for me, at the final reckoning losing only around £40 which (with my record on gambling) counts as a spectacular win.



Arrived home around 6ish, a little the worse for imbibing, not wisely but well. Then after a fitful semi-coma for an hour or so the 18th birthday party of the lovely Sophie, around 100 stunning young lasses and a similar amount of shambling, pimply oafs, all being horribly young till 5 in the am. Although Mrs S and myself left around 2.00 you'll understand that there is little energy left for blogging... I think I'll go and have a little lie down.

posted by Stuffy @ 1:56 pm 0 comments

Security v Intelligence


As I mentioned here I visited Olympia to cheer on Superchef Winston. I forgot to mention at the time that I was stopped as I entered the building for a bag check, well I had my bag with me, laptop, notebooks, I was callimng in to lend support en route to a meeting with clients in the City. Among the things I carry in said bag is a Leatherman, a multi-tool, pliers, file, screwdrivers and a couple of inches of knife blade. Naturally the substantial gents charged with ensuring that Olympia wasn't hi-jacked and flown into the nearest skyscraper, confiscated this and stored it until I chose to leave along with a collection of pen kinves, nail files and a couple of corkscrews seized from the visiting restauranteurs, sommeliers and chefs who, probably, carry a corkscrew, but "only for self-defence officer".

Now please consider the nature of the event, a restaurant trade show, savour if you will the delicious irony of having my trusty multi-tool impounded and then at every step being invited to test the chopping and dicing capability of the latest Sabatiers and Henckels, being begged to cut slivers of radish with a pristine japanese ceramic, being invited to visit the 50 or so stands offering hands-on experience of the finest in culinary blades and the very finest 'weapons of cork extraction'.
On departing I naturally asked Mongo on the desk if he appreciated the exquisite paradox but he was too wily a lad to engage me in playful banter.

posted by Stuffy @ 8:05 pm 2 comments

ChaCha and I had our first guitar lesson on Saturday morning, I sat there as ChaCha was taken through the basics, and then given a gruelling set of practice sequences. I was feeling pretty relaxed as I rattled through my 'show off' pieces until the very pleasant Anna pointed out all the things i'd been doing wrong for 25 years and gave me some very similar exercises to Cha Cha. If ever you doubt that muscle memory is real try re-training your twisted arthritic old hand to re-learn a G chord.

Apparently my right hand has been doing it all wrong as well but I've invested too much in guitars to just walk away, guess I'll have to practice.

posted by Stuffy @ 11:22 pm 0 comments

Silly things in catering...



1. I noticed at the gym the other day a pledge from the catering staff, printed and published on each and every table, a laminated commitment to ensure that I enjoyed my "food and beverage experience". I'm by no means sure that I want anything more than pleasant and prompt service, a decent coffee and some edible toast. When did you last demand a beverage ? Who the flip walks up to the bar and demands an 'unforgettable food and beverage experience'. Mind you that's exactly what I shall do on Tuesday just to see what happens.

2. Splendid Chef and cycling, eating, golfing and drinking chum Winston (of Red at Weybridge), is competing at Olympia in the Top Chef competition tomorrow, I shall of course be there waving outsize foam rubber ovengloves and sporting a comedy toque to give him partisan support from the terraces.
I spotted this moving quote from the third place chef at the 2005 competition...

For seasoned competitor Nick, this was an outstanding achievement: "This is the biggest competition in the UK and to come third is amazing. It doesn't come better than that!"

posted by Stuffy @ 11:07 pm 1 comments

Hey Moron! there's a line here...


There's a cunning scheme operating at Waterloo station to enable people to get into taxis 4 times faster than would otherwise be the case, it's very simple, 4 marked bays, with 4 posts (standing next to, for the purpose of), numbered, logically, 1-4. A moment's observation would inform any organism with an IQ higher than algae that if the clients could arrange themselves in sets of four, the taxis could also batch themselves thus reducing queuing time by around 15 minutes for every twenty.
Incredibly this seems to be too complex for the majority of the queue loving public. It may be that my arrival yesterday morning coincided with a large party on the way to some convention of village idiots, or it may be that people really are too stupid to be allowed to choose from 4 places to stand. Curiously, the speed with which people got into cabs, changed their minds and left the queue or simply ran away very quickly increased dramatically when I got near the front of the line and start explaining to these imbeciles how the ****ing process works,in the calm, measured and reasonable terms for which I'm reknowned.

posted by Stuffy @ 5:12 pm 1 comments

Three thoughts for today...



1. If you ever have to go to a police station to produce your documents, (as a result of your public spirited identification of a malefactor in a traffic incident in which you were in no way to blame) be aware that the maximum penalty for failing to produce your documents is unlikely to exceed 5 years in prison, my advice would be "do the time" it's likely to be less soul destroying than engaging with the fat red tape that has replaced the thin blue line.

2. A stunning smoothie - a tub of YeoValley raspberry yoghurt left in the fridge by a teenager with the memory capacity of a goldfish with attention deficit disorder, 3 ripe mangoes, a handful of fresh pineapple and a glass of cranberrry juice. blitz it! It is a meal in a glass and I call it pulpy goldfish

3. I found this today and it made me chuckle "I contend that we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours".

posted by Stuffy @ 7:27 pm 0 comments